Seems like a pattern is emerging. I
only update the blog on first and last days of the semester. Weird.
Anyway, today was my first Student
Teaching seminar. I found out that I will be student teaching at
Foothill High School with a 12th grade English Honors
class. If I thought I was scared before, I'm even more terrified now.
When I introduced myself during
seminar, I was nervous for reasons I still don't know. I
mispronounced my own last name after telling the professor that she
had pronounced it correctly after calling on me to stand to introduce
myself. The class laughed of course, after I quickly corrected
myself. I made a joke afterward, and admitted to the entire class
that I'm scared and excited about student teaching. The majority of
the class nodded in agreement.
After we were dismissed, I went up to
the front of the room to grab my student teaching handbook, and one
of the two professors running the seminar touched my arm and said,
“You have a wonderful personality. You're going to do great.” I'm
not sure what she meant by this, (but I thanked her anyway) but I
didn't see or hear her tell anybody else anything like this.
Many people have told me how great of a
teacher they think I will be. This is a wonderful boost in
confidence, and definitely strokes my ego...but it is also a lot of
pressure. I know the reason I'm scared of student teaching is because
I do not want to let anybody down: my previous professors, my new
dean of education, my administrators, my supervisor, my family, my
husband, my friends. I want to do well because I've always had the
drive to try my best no matter the circumstances. But part of this
drive is due to wanting to make all of the previously mentioned
people proud. I know I'm technically still a student and shouldn't be
afraid to make mistakes during student teaching, but I am. The idea
of having to teach 12th grade content is intimidating as
well. I have a feeling I will be spending as much time with the
actual material as I will planning a lesson for it. I was told that
this worry, nervousness, and fear is normal and will actually make me
a better teacher somehow. We shall see. I will be keeping a journal
for seminar and some of it might end up on here if anybody is
interested to know just how overwhelmed, intimidated, excited, and
exhausted I am over the next 3 months.
Here goes nothing.
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