August
28, 2012
Today was actually interesting. I am so
tired though, and I didn’t even teach today. I actually got to
introduce myself to the classes, and the honors and AP kids were very nice and
seemed happy to have me there. To be perfectly honest, I completely
underestimated them. They were introduced to Inductive Thinking today, which
they were all instantly good at. We actually listened to and annotated “Hotel
California” by the Eagles. I didn’t
realize how vague that song was, which left it open to may interpretations.
Students were drawing great conclusions with text evidence to back it up.
Granted, I wasn’t leading this discussion, but I was taking
notes on what they were saying and it was that great! I won’t
be fully taking over the AP classes, but the 3 Honors classes will be 100%
mine. We decided that we will co-teach the Writing for Proficiency class and
one of the AP classes. My Beowulf unit
is not fully put together yet, which makes me nervous…but
I’m not starting it until next Thursday. I don’t know Beowulf backwards and forwards, so I feel awkward trying to design a
lesson plan around it. I have been reading the same handout the kids will get,
along with supplemental stuff I can find online. It seems pretty simple, so
maybe I’m over thinking it, and making it harder than it has to be…I
don’t know. We discovered today that we are going to have to start from
the bottom up with the Writing for Profiecency students after one of them
asked, “What’s brainstorming?”So
the next three days are going to be spent going over the writing process step
by step.
Speaking of Writing Prof students…my
most interesting introduction was definitely in that class. I told them they
could call me Miss Chill (which is what I’ve told every class I’ve
been in) and for the first time, someone asked me, “Are
you actually chill?” I replied that I was, or I try to be. Then
one girl in front pipped up, “Are you mean?!”
These are seniors, keep in mind. Here is the conversation that followed, with a
lot of laughter and humor sprinkled in:
Her:
“Are you mean?”
Me:
“Define ‘mean’?”
Her:”….I
don’t know.” --Laughter--
Someone
else: “Are you strict?”
Another
student: “Are you crotchety?” –insane laughter-
Me:
“No!” –laugh laugh- I turned back to the original
question: “I’m not mean. But I do have expectations and-“
Her:
“What kind of expectations?”
Me:
“High expectations.”
Collective,
“ughhhh!”
Me:
“Not too high! High enough that I know you can reach them!”
They all went back to writing after
that. Well, some of them did. Mrs. P sat
with the girl who questioned my “mean-ness” while I stayed at the front. I was surprised
to see kids actually working on the assignment, and even some helping each
other brainstorm. Of course there were a few who decided not to work, but to
goof-off, and I was surprised that Mrs. P did not address this. In fact, they started lining up at the door 10 minutes before the bell was to ring, which leads me into my next thing…
I did come to some realizations today.
First, I realized that my co-op teacher has the same passion that I do, but it
was just hard to find under all the sarcasm and bitterness toward the job in general.
I also realized that she can operate without structure, but I don’t
know how she does it. I don’t know if she just doen’t
need it, or has never had it. But she’s managed to make it work. Tomorrow, we’re
supposed to go over course expectations and stuff. So maybe I can see her act
like a hard-ass. However, in no way is she a push-over. She’s
a strong presence in her classroom, and commands attention. But so far there
has been no establishment of routine or procedures. Also, she never introduced
herself to her class, which I found odd. However, I the majority of her students
she’s had before, so maybe she felt like she didn’t
need to introduce herself? I just know I would feel left out if my teacher knew
a bunch of my peers, but didn’t know me and didn’t
introduce herself so I could get to know her the way my peers already did. I
hope that makes sense.
I have to keep reminding myself that I’m
not taking over all the classes all at once, so I need not panic. I’m
taking over one of the Honors classes next week, and then should have 2 or 3
honors classes. Finally, I will be co-teaching Writing for Prof and AP with
Mrs. P while still having full control over the 3 Honors classes.
I
feel the most important thing I learned over the last few days is to not let my
fear smother my excitement and enthusiasm. After I finally got to introduce
myself (I had to ask to do it. Mrs. P was too flustered and kept forgetting) and talk to the classes I remembered my excitement for this job and forgot
the fear. I’m not used to students of this caliber, and
it is intimidating, but I have to not let my fear overrule my excitement. My environment
is mostly negative, full of complaints
and bitterness and frustration with the administration and the district in
general. While most of these complaints and frustrations are valid…
(i.e. having not enough desks for students in 2nd, 3rd, and 4th period, but then only
having 15 students in 5th period…also
having your ECS let himself into your room during lunch to “fix”
the projector you’ve been using all day, only to make things
worse and end up having to take a good chunk of class time trying to put it back to how he found it…not
having a class set of textbooks because they were stolen/misplaced over the
summer…not having clear directions on what your admin wants in your
syllabus and therefore have not been able to write it until now…not
having a gradebook until the 2nd week in September because the
district hasn’t paid the annual fee for the program…etc.)
But these are all things that can be overcome, and shouldn’t
determine my attitude. Granted, I know I’m going to have days were I just do not feel
like teaching or being at work, but that’s normal for any career. But I also know
there are going to be more days of great
and meaningful discussions and hilarious moments and watching the lightbulbs
over their heads blink on and hear them say, “Ohhhh!”
or “Ah ha!” when then get it.
So my goals
for the next week are to finish up my Intro presentations to Allusions,
Archetypes, and Beowulf. Also, I need to cling to my sanity by taking time for
ME to chill out and decompress. (today, that took the form of a unintended 2 hour nap
on the couch this afternoon…I wasn’t feeling well.) Mainly I need to keep my excitement and
enthusiasm in mind at all times. I went into this career because I know I love it despite the obstacles. Keeping
my positive attitude in check is going to be tough in that environment, but I
think it will be easier as I start to actually teach and interact with the
students. Wish me luck!
