Fangirl-ing

This post is more commenting and fangirl-ing (I made a new verb!) about John Green, Hank Green, and Nerdfighteria. So if you're tired of reading about those topics and my commentary on them... feel free to navigate away from this page. Now.

Moving on.

First, story time.

On my flight home from Medford not too long ago, I met a young girl, Catharine (gosh I hope I'm spelling that correctly) who sat next to me on the plane. I was in the window seat and she was in the middle seat. She kept turning around to talk to a friend who was unfortunately assigned to a seat away from her. This friend's name was Nicole, I think...and it was her first flight. Anyway, we were pulling away from the gate, and I had my copy of "The Fault in Our Stars" in my lap because I had recently began to reread it. Catharine politely points to it and says, "Is that a good book? I've heard it's really good." And of course I try to keep my gushing to a minimum and reply, "Oh yes. This is my second time reading it and I NEVER reread books." And to my surprise and utter joy, she said, "You know the author does these videos online with his brother-" and I interrupted, "ARE YOU A NERDFIGHTER TOO?!!" to which she replied, "Yes!" and we immediately high-fived and launched into a conversation of our favorite videos. At one point during the flight she turned around to Nicole to check on how she was doing (She was good), and Nicole asked how she was...Catharine said, "Great! I'm sitting next to a Nerdfighter!" I turned and waved at Nicole, even though I couldn't see her face, and said hello. We took a break from our conversation to read our books. I couldn't help but think that this wonderful girl I had met has not yet read the awesomeness that is TiFOS, that I should give her my copy. This was an idea that I actually struggled with as the flight progressed. I really love this book, and giving it up when I had barely just started my second read was a little difficult to digest. But Catharine hadn't read it!! So, realizing that giving up my favorite book would be very hard especially because I was in the middle of rereading it, that meant that I absolutely had to try to give it to her. So I did. This is how it went:

Me: "So you said you haven't read this one, right?" *Gestures toward book in hands*
Her: "Right."
Me: "Then I want you to have mine." *tried to hand book to Catharine*
Her: "No. I can't take your book."
Me: "Seriously, it's okay. I want you to have it."
Her: "I can't take your book."  -- We're both laughing now.
Me: "You have to read it! Take it!"
Her: "I really can't!"
Me: *laughing* "Fine. Then promise me you'll buy it and read it."

Then I told her where in Vegas she can find it. (Turns out she was in town for a martial arts competition! Cool!) We talked more and I made her promise, as we were disembarking, that she was going to buy the book and she WAS going to read it. Sadly, I don't know if she ever did purchase the book or how well she did at the competition she was attending. But it was fun to meet another nerdfighter.

I spent much of today watching videos circa 2009 on vlogbrothers. (If all my talk of these wonderful brothers hasn't gotten you to watch any of the videos yet, I don't know what else I can say. Watch a few. Enjoy the awesome. Thank me later.) And I have two quotes to share from two videos I saw today. Both made me stop what I was doing (because I was playing the new Sims expansion pack while watching the videos...) and rewind the videos many times to write down exactly what John was saying so that I could reflect on it now...and later if I need to.

First, on the topic of why people want to be famous:

John just said that the commenters on the previous videos discussing famous-ness had pretty much fallen into about 3 different camps. And this is John discussing the first camp:

"The main reason people want to be famous is because it allows them to live after they've died... [but] no one is going to live forever, because there will come a time in which there will be no human beings to ever remember that there were human beings who did anything...Stars of reality shows, while 'famous', do not live on after their death in any meaningful way. I propose, that Lauren Conrad, who is reportedly a very famous person, is likely to live less after her death than a high school English teacher. Imagine the future when Lauren Conrad is 50 years old, maybe some people who are also 50 may remember that she used to be on a horribly destructive reality show, but no one who is 30 years younger than Lauren Conrad will have no idea who she is. Whereas your average high school English teacher will teach until she's 65, teaching 15 year old kids. Which means, that when she dies when she's 85, her youngest students will be 35 years old. They'll go on and remember her for another 50 years. Lauren Conrad has no chance at being remembered 50 years after she dies. So if you want to be famous because you want to be remembered...be a teacher."

--Let's get this out of the way first, because I feel I need to admit to it before I become accused of it... yes, this speech interested me because my favorite author is talking about english teachers... of which I AM ONE. There, I said it. Now, I have never dreamed of associating my profession with becoming famous. When I think of famous people, I think of movies and TV stars...and music people. Famous to me means being widely known and paid wildly for it. And that doesn't sound anything like education. But John makes a point about being remembered. One of the reasons I went into teaching was because I wanted to make a difference in students' lives. If I (outrageously) succeed, and just one of my students remembers me 50 years after I had them in my classroom... then I guess I have the potential to become famous... but never know it because, according to John's logic, my youngest students would have to outlive me first. So can you still be famous without knowing it? Can you be famous if only one person makes it so?

And another quote from John, that I would love to have printed very nicely and framed so I can see it whenever I become discouraged from my dream of writing a novel...

"Every single day, I get emails from aspiring writers asking my advice about how to become a writer...and here is the only advice I can give: Don't make stuff because you want to make money. It will never make you enough money. Don't make stuff because you want to get famous, because you will never feel famous enough. Make gifts for people, and work hard on making those gifts in the hope that those people will notice how hard you worked...and maybe they won't. And if they don't notice... I know it's frustrating. But ultimately, that doesn't change anything because your responsibility is not to the people your making the gift for...but to the gift itself."

-- To me, this means that my writing isn't about what others may think about it. It's about the work I put into it. It's about the creation and passion I put into it. Not about making money or being famous, or even getting published. It's about the creation and the process it took to get there. When I heard this speech, and let it sink in...(meaning I watched it more than once)... it took off a huge amount of pressure I didn't realize I had about my writings. While I have always wanted to write a novel, I honestly never really thought I would have the dedication to actually finish one. But now that the pressure I previously mentioned has lifted, I feel like it is slightly more possible. Because the writing should be FUN because I love it, not because it's a means to an end to get published. I've never worded this dream as, "Have a novel published." It's always been, "To write a novel."Well gee, there is a distinct difference there! More pressure lifted! Granted, this does not mean that novel-writing is at the top of my priority list now...just that it seems more feasible to actually BE on the list.

If all my fan-girl gushing hasn't yet convinced you of the awesome that is the vlogbrothers... here is the link to the video that the second quote I talked about. ---->  Click here to be inspired. 

Cruise happening soooooon!

DFTBA :)

Book Review (Kinda...)

I should be sleeping. But I just finished a great book…so I can’t.

I’m not sure how to start this, because it’s intended as a review for the book, “Will Grayson, Will Grayson” by John Green and David Levithan…and I suppose it will turn out to be just that…eventually.

John Green is the only author I’ve read who forces me to keep a dialectal journal. That’s right folks, an off-duty English major/teacher is voluntarily keeping a dialectal journal as she reads. While I realize that these journals are intended for reactions to quotations found in the novel one is currently reading, mine isn’t quite like that. I just write down the date, quote, and page number on which I found the quote. Some are funny or even sad, but mostly they’re philosophical and typically the quotes I write down are the ones I read a few times over because I’m in awe of whatever message they have that has so profoundly spoken to me.

I began doing this when I read Green’s “Fault in Our Stars.” I typed these ones up in a document that sits somewhere on my hard drive, alone and mostly forgotten. I felt this was a very impersonal approach to a such a project, so I found one of the many journals I have purchased – and have yet to write in—and began a hand-written dialectal journal, beginning with “Will Grayson, Will Grayson.”

Now, the storyline of this novel is questionable. Not in the sense of it’s content, but it’s simplicity versus complexity. It lies somewhere in the middle. Josh asked me in the car today how I liked the book I was currently reading, and I told him that while I appreciate the language in the book as well as the philosophical tidbits (the ones I usually write down), it seemed to be lacking something that I loved in “Fault in Our Stars.” The story itself was slow, and when I was so close to the end I found myself saying, “What has really happened so far?” The answer? Not much. While the teenage angst was legitimate, I never felt like the depth of it was really achieved. That doesn't make much sense… I believe I told Josh that the conflict seemed real, it just lacked something, and honestly, I still don’t know what it is. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the novel, cheesy ending and all. It provided me with a few gems for my dialectal journal, which I will gladly share with you now.

Page 5: “Also, I feel like crying is almost like, aside from the deaths of relative or whatever—totally avoidable if you follow two very simple rules: 1. Don’t care too much. 2. Shut up. Everything unfortunate that has ever happened to me has stemmed from failure to follow one of the rules”

            ** Talk about your pessimistic, pouty, I-refuse-to-engage-with-life-because-I’m-afraid-to, teenage angst! As the story progresses, Will discovers that the rules will fail him, and not the other way around. Silly boy, you can’t sum up life by creating two “rules” and the stand on the sidelines of life and expect something wonderful to happen to you!

Page 25: “The first bell rings. Like all the bells in our fine institution of lower learning, it’s not a bell at all, it’s a long beep like you’re about to leave a voicemail saying you’re having the suckiest day ever and nobody’s ever going to listen to it.”

            **To be perfectly honest, I wrote this one down because it spoke to me personally. It sums up how I felt in high school on some of my moodier days...and summed up how I felt in the classroom on some days over the past 5 months, too. It really should be a legitimate bell…the long tone-like sounds really does sound institutional. But to take it on a more optimistic side, maybe you could see this “long beep” as that sound you heard as a child while you listened to books on tape…the sound that told you it was time to turn the page…and move on to something else.

Page 43: “You like someone who can’t like you back because unrequited love can be survived in away that once-requited love cannot.”

            ** I ponder the truth of this statement. Is it pessimistic or optimistic? Mature or immature? I feel there is a deep conversation that can be had with this statement as its center. It would be interesting to hear other people’s opinion on the matter. It too-easily explains why one person may not have feelings for another, as if the one without the feelings is doing the one with the feelings some kind of favor because if they DID like them back, then the pain would somehow be worse. At the moment, I feel like it waters-down a really complicated situation and all-too-easily explains it away. But a teenager DID say it, and maybe it was that character's way of rationalizing a difficult situation. 

Page 66: “Sorry geniuses, but there’s no such thing as a fuck cure. A fuck sure is like the adult version of Santa Claus.”

            ** This one just made me laugh and think about all those movies where you hear the best friend’s answer to their woeful companion’s problem is, “Dude, you just need to get laid.” Which, according to this quote could roughly translate to: “Dude, you just need to believe in Santa!” Hahaha….

Page 125: “You know what sucks about love? That it’s so tied to the truth.”

Page 127: “Love is tied to the truth. I think of them as unhappily conjoined twins.”

Page 128: “Love and truth being tied together. I mean, they make each other possible.”

            ** These are examples of the philosophical tidbits that I love. What’s interesting about this idea is that the characters never really explore how love is tied to truth…at least not in depth. Through some of their actions I suppose they do, but I feel this concept could have gone a lot further within the story line in terms of character epiphanies… then again maybe they were not meant to explain how love is tied to truth. Maybe that’s my job as the reader.

Page 131: “Random questions are the least random of all questions.”

            ** TRUTH

Page 174: “When things break, it’s not the actual breaking that prevents them from getting back together again. It’s because a little piece get lost—the two remaining ends couldn’t fit together even if they wanted to. The whole shape has changed.”

            ** What an excellent metaphor for moving on with one’s life. Again, on the surface, I feel it too easily explains something that can be vastly more complicated, but it still speaks to my own life experiences. On a pessimistic side, one could read this as “Nothing will ever be the same again.” OR, on a optimistic side, one could read this as “We can put the pieces back together that still fit and make new pieces for the missing ones.” How do you read it?

And finally, probably the most profound (to me) quote I found in the entire novel:

Page 277: “This is why we call people exes I guess—because the paths that cross in the middle end up separating at the end. It’s too easy to see an X as a cross-out. It’s not, because there is no way to cross out something like that. The X is a diagram of two paths.”

            ** What’s wonderful about the context of this quote is that the character that says it is not talking about a romantic relationship. He’s talking about a toxic friendship in which he has finally found some closure after a very serious falling out. Meaning that not just romantic boyfriends and girlfriends can become exes. Boyfriends and girlfriends can too. While they are not romantic in the sense of love, they are still platonic or can even border on a family-like relationship. There can still be that intense closeness and connection without having romantic feelings involved. Meaning that if that relationship is somehow severed, its pain can just as easily be as horrible as a break-up…and therefore that person can just as easily be referred to as an ex-friend.  Sometimes friendships last and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes you’re only meant to be friends for that short time before your paths diverge into different futures. Nonetheless, your paths did cross and chances are it was probably for a reason. Maybe not an epiphany, all encompassing miracle kind of reason, but maybe they were there to teach you something about yourself that they never intended to do. Or maybe they were the exact kind of person you needed at that point in your life, but then they aren't anymore.

This is why I absolutely adore John Green’s novels. They inspire me to reflect upon myself, my past, my future, and everything in between. They make me think deeply about things that I haven’t thought about it a while, or have never even thought of before.

God, I love reading. J