Venting

     Is there a way to vent calmly? I feel like I have to get something off my chest before I can focus on school work. Maybe this is a new kind of stress I'm encountering? I don't know.

     Last semester, I didn't put much heart into my school work. I was stressed with the wedding, and honestly, the wedding was higher on my priority list than school...mostly because I was so incredibly over being in school. But this semester is different. I recently got an A on an essay from my ENG 298 class. This is the first A on an essay that I can remember getting in a long, long time. It made me proud. I was honestly working very hard at that essay and felt like I knew what I was doing. It felt great to get an A on my writing again. I've been settling for Bs for so long, it seems like. "Oh, I'm in a 400 level English class, a B is still good," I would tell myself. But after getting that A, I feel like I could do way better than a B in all of my English classes this semester. I'm taking 477a, 449a, and 298. Three English classes has led me to a terrifying upcoming week. I have 3 major essays due in a matter of 10 days. All of them are 5 days apart; it's crazy. I have one professor who is amazing at helping out panicked essay writers, haha. I emailed her a few hours ago with ideas and a rough thesis statement, and she has already written back with a closing comment that made me smile and gave me motivation from out of no where: "Good luck, keep going, and trust your instincts - they are quite good!" To get a compliment from a professor I respect so much means a lot to me. Feels great.

You know what also is extremely motivating? Josh told me he would take me back to Disneyland for a day if I got straight As this semester. He even suggested making an epic double date out of it and inviting Deanna and Daniel along with us... and that was even more motivating. I feel like I just want to camp out in front of my computer and finish all of my essays and assignments for the rest of the semester in one marathon sitting.

You know what else is motivating? The possibility that next semester might be my last semester before student teaching. I've been anxious to get the class schedule to see where I stand, but registration isn't until November 8th...after talking to a classmate who has the same major that I do, she has reassured me that the education classes that I need will be offered, and taking the 2 remaining English classes shouldn't be a problem either. So, theoretically, I should only have one semester left. I can't really wrap my head around it, and I am certainly trying very hard not to get my hopes up that it works out that way...because even though the Education classes will be offered, that doesn't mean they won't conflict with each other...(i.e. having them start at the same time on the same day....I can't be in two places at once, unfortunately). I'm not worried about the English classes too much. I can possibly take whatever they don't offer online at CSN instead...maybe. That light at the end of the tunnel seems to be getting brighter and the likeliness of it being a train is also diminishing, haha.

But most motivating of all...getting school stuff done so if Josh gets orders in December to be in South Dakota by February... I can go with him. Being left behind is not an option...if I can help it.