Frustrating

I was soooo tired today, yet here I am, up at midnight...again. I don't understand why I can't go to bed before midnight. Luckily, I get to sleep in for the first time this week tomorrow.


Also, I've been working really hard at working out and eating better. Yes, I've still continued to work out at least 4-5 days a week for at least 30 minutes each time. BUT I haven't lost weight. I still can't get below 147, and it's getting discouraging. Josh thinks I'm building muscle, and that's why it doesn't seem like I'm losing weight. I hope he's right.


Also, the future of my education. People keep asking me when I'm graduating or when I'm going to start student teaching. I'm not frustrated that people ask. In fact, it's nice how many people care about my future...or are at least curious enough about it to listen to me talk about it. What's frustrating is all of the unknowns. I don't know when I will graduate. I don't know when (or where) I will be student teaching. I don't even know where I will be living by the time 2012 rolls around. Josh's job has so many unknowns that effect my future too. I'm not resentful or angry with him or the job...it's not under his control. I just hate not knowing. I can't see past February! ...or even December. This living day by day thing is exhausting. Maybe that's why I've been so tired lately?


Regardless, I will push on and keep working out and working hard in school. Working out will have to pay off eventually. I may have to kick it up a notch and start working out for 45 minutes at a time as well as paying even closer attention to my caloric intake. As for school, I think signing up for Spring 2012 might relieve some frustrations about my future, hopefully.


Apart from these minor frustrations, there is a bigger picture here...and it's a beautifully happy one. I find these moments during the day where I ponder about where I am in life and find myself saying, "Life is good" and meaning it from the bottom of my heart. I have an incredible husband, and I can't wait to see what adventures life takes us on. I have a fabulously amazing family, both biological, extended, and in-law. I have friends that are so close that calling them just "friends" doesn't do our relationship justice. "Blood is thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood." -Garth Brooks...  I couldn't be more blessed, seriously.